Month: March 2015

Daily Post 0078: OmniFocus is My Friend

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I love OmniFocus. I get to look at my ‘Completed’ section and realize just how awesome I am sometimes. Sorry for sounding arrogant, but I’m going to bask in my feelings of productivity for a little bit.

The day started out sort of slow. I woke up at 9:30 which meant I missed the spin class, but since I didn’t go running on Sunday I figured I could make up for it today.

I checked my email and did my 30 Day Challenge post. I got caught up on WordPress and Facefail. I made reminders on my calendar for Administrative Professionals Day, since I like getting cards for my coworkers, and a reminder for Nurse’s Day since my mom and cousin are both in the medical field.

I checked up on my desktop. It’s 100% back to being healthy. I want to give it a hug and tell it I love it. It’s my baby and I’m glad I was able to get it fixed up.

I made a battle plan for my assignments this week. I was actually thinking earlier this evening about intentionally failing the course, or asking the instructor to hold me back since I’ve done so horrible with turning in my assignments. It’s not that the work is dodgy. I keep losing points for late or non-existent submissions.

The perfectionist in me isn’t going to like the grade I get, however I don’t think I would really gain much from doing the projects over again. It’s not that I didn’t get the material… So I think I’m going to keep working on everything and see if I naturally fail on my own. If that’s the case then I was meant to take it over again.

Part of me sort of hopes that happens. It will have been the first class I’ve failed ever. I suppose there’s a first for everything.

Once I got my assignments figured out I went to the store to buy carpet cleaner along with Arm and Hammer powder. Scarlet was sick and the living room / my room needed some love and attention with the vacuum. After the store I went to the gym where I ran, then came home and cleaned.

The apartment smells amazingly fresh now. <3 the smell of clean.

I did a bunch of prep work so I could cook when I got home from work later in the evening, and made tuna for my lunches for the week. I changed the water filter since I bought it a few weeks ago and have been a slacker about switching it out.

I posted about the PCC Critiques this Friday. We’ll be doing Google Hangouts again. We’re also going to be doing a “We’ll see you later,” party for Tre. I can’t bring myself to think of it as goodbye.

I got to work on his graduation gift a bit more. It’s almost done, so I’m content with that project at the moment.

I went to the dojo for taekwondo. I still need to work on my kicks. I don’t remember the order of them, but I’m a bawce with the punches. We got to run through everything for the first test. At this rate I’ll be a yellow belt in both taekwondo and aikido before the end of next month.

Once I crawled my way back to the car from the dojo I came home and got Joshua to help me move my dresser around so I could take a picture of it for Craig’s list. I don’t want to move it into the new place, so I’m trying to make a buck off of it. I’ve already had a few responses. I’m in the process of arranging times for it to be viewed.

I went into work for SAL. I’m actually missing my portable hard drive, and the last place I knew I had it was in the SAL lab room. Sadly it wasn’t there this evening, so I have to go to Security tomorrow since that’s where lost and found is. It would be awesome if I could get my hard drive back…

Aside from that lab was uneventful. I got to work on my new IF Challenge. The word this week is “Ruckus”, so I’m going to be doing a portrait of my older brother’s boxer. That will be posted soon.

The guy who commissioned me for a cross stitch was in class today so I got to show him the design I came up with. He wanted one thing changed, but overall he said he was really happy with it. Huzzah. I’m gong to revise the design and have something for him to see on Wednesday.

Rhonda came into lab and we got to talk about her demo reel. She made a lot of the changes I suggested, and it’s looking way more solid than it did before. We did some more brainstorming, and got another battle plan going for her.

When lab ended I went over to the upstairs offices. I had a case of water I wanted to take to ‘my desk’. I don’t like leaving water in the car since it gets so hot during the day. And I’m way better about drinking water when it’s staring me in the face, rather than having to remember to pull a bottle or two out of the trunk.

While I was upstairs I scanned my sketch work for the IF Challenge, and then settled in to do the reading for this week. So that’s 100% done. There’s no quiz, which I think is odd. My grade to use the boost… that’s for sure.

But that was about it for my day.

I came home, cooked steak, green beans of awesomeness, and some potatoes. I got caught back up on WordPress, and now I’m rounding out my day with writing.

I’m supposed to be up at 7am for laundry… ugh. Not looking forward to that since it’s already 3:30. But if push comes to shove I can take a nap during the day.

So tons of stuff got done. I even found some tips to keep in mind for my podcasts. Overall I’m feeling good about my day, and now I’m totally going to go pass out.

Musing Moment 0020: 30 Day Challenge – Day 11

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We’re moving on to skill mastery today.

We’ve got our goals lined up. We know what we’re working towards, but most of the time there’s information or some skill that we need in order to get to where we want to be. There’s this knowledge hurdle we have to get over before we can start making the progress we want.

Today is where we figure out what that skill, or skills, may be. For some it may be figuring out social networking more so they can gain more exposure. Others may be some sort of home improvement endeavor. Time management is another skill that can help.

There are countless skills out there, and the one(s) you want to focus on really depends on your push goal.

Push Goal #1
Complete one personal
career related project each week.

This can get a little dicey as far as figuring out a ‘skill’ that I need to research in order to help complete it.

“Career related” is a little vague I admit. I could be creating a script, or an animation. I could be constructing a rig or lighting a CG scene. All of those things require an in-depth skill set, and all of those skill sets are immensely different.

So the ‘skills’ I would need to research and develop really depend on the project I am doing at the time.

Same with my other push goal.

Push Goal #2
Complete one personal
craft project each month.

Am I doing a digital painting? A commissioned cross stitch? A graphite sketch? All vastly different and unique, so the skills I need will vary from project to project.

Eventually I will have specific skills to focus on, such as learning how to run an Etsy store, or becoming more familiar with HTML5 and CSS to structure my website better. But for the stage I am currently at, my focus will change drastically from project to project.

Really, in the scheme of things, these ‘projects’ are more like mini-projects, building blocks that I need before I can start tackling the larger projects which will actually move me forward towards my bigger goals.

These ‘push goals’ are more habits than goals, but I need to focus on them so I can get to where I want to be.

And I’m ok with that. As I move onto different projects I will research tutorials, set ups, as well as tips and tricks to help me with my tasks, and once I feel I have enough content I will begin focusing on the bigger projects which will require research and development of new skills.

The skill for this week will be researching tips and tricks for creating podcasts, since that is the next step in my “Revamp Curves Tool” project. I feel I make pretty decent podcast demos, but there’s always room for improvement, so lets see where I can improve.

And with that, away I go to consult the all mighty Google.

30 Day Challenge – Chalene Johnson

Weekly Saga 0010: Personal Training

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Main events include:

Continued with 30 Day Challenge
Received offer to personally train with Sensei Jan and Beata
Completed Rigbox Reborn – Curves Tool update
Began animation for Tre
Had a Skype meeting with Ben

Bank issue is still unresolved

Not a super productive week, but the 30 Day Challenge goes over some pretty heavy stuff so it feels like I’ve done a lot. Mostly it’s been internal processing, and realigning myself with my intentions and goals.

There was a lot of school work, too.

So I’m pretty alright with this week. I even made my weekly post on time. Go me.

Onward to the new week.

Daily Post 0077: On the Subject of Homes…

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I’m about half way through Brisingr, which means I have 17 hours level left in the book. x.x

At least it’s a good book.

So I sort of got a jump start with Omnifocus today instead of waiting until tomorrow. Honestly, it was a pretty low key day overall. I woke up around 10 after an extremely deep and restful sleep. I think I was more tired than I realized.

I didn’t go to the gym today. And I don’t feel bad about it. Instead I did most of my weekend chores. No vacuuming, but I planned my meals, did grocery shopping, and completed my assignment (on time for once. I hate how this month most of them have been late). And I even got to stitch for a few hours while listening to my book.

Other things of note were:

Installed AVG on my desktop computer (138 threats found)
Researched ways to whiten my gi without using bleach
Researched now to properly fold my gi
Completed the last update to Rigbox Reborn – Curves Tool

I couldn’t get the desktop to connect to the Internet, but I’m pretty sure that’s just because our Internet is lame. I’ll check tomorrow to see if the scan fixed the spyware issues I was having with the browser. It would be awesome to have it back to its original state.

I talked with Grace. She got a job in the area so she’ll be staying in Orlando rather than in Miami with her family. We have plans for lunch on Sunday.

I did talk to Ashley about moving into the room. I’m going to wait until spring break to do it so I won’t be as rushed. That will give me a week to pack, paint, unpack, and get comfy. I like that idea so much more than trying to get everything done in a weekend along with homework.

So 3 weeks-ish and I’ll be in a new place.

I’m sort of nervous about it now. As far as I can tell, this will sort of be ‘permanent’. It’s going to be the first time in five years where I don’t have a time frame on when I have to leave. It’s not a lease that’s going to end. I don’t have to have a plan for where I’m going to go next. As far as I can tell the next ‘next’ will be when I’m moving to be with Mother Earth and J. Or possibly for a job opportunity I want to explore.

Part of me is unsettled by thinking of this new place as ‘home’.

I may say ‘home’ in my posts, as in, “I went home.” But if I’m honest I don’t think of this apartment as home. I think of it as a place I go to sleep. I think of it as where my food is at. Where Scarlet is.

It’s not really home, though. It never was. I knew I would only be here for roughly six months. Until the lease ended. There wasn’t a reason to get invested in it. And then Susan moved in and even though things are better, I won’t be sad to leave. I won’t feel bad about not being around a couple who are constantly doing coupley things.

Part of me wonders if that makes me heartless. Part of me wonders if I’ll ever be able to live alone again like I did when I first moved to Florida.

Part of me wonders if the whole concept of ‘home’ bothers me so much because I don’t want anything in Florida to be home. Pretty much my only tie to the area is the dojo. I can remember the posts to my Worpress, the conversations with Mother Earth, where I cried and said how alone I felt, how isolated, because none of my loved ones are near me here.

Why would I want such a lonely place to be home?

On the flip side… I’m supposed to be here for another four or five years. Isn’t that a long enough time to feel attached and rooted to the area your in?

Why do I have to have a confusing yarn ball of emotions inside of me over a four letter word?

Why can’t it be just a word for me? Why do I have to blow it out of proportion and attached super deep meaning to something that I causally type all the time.

“I went home.” But in my heart that’s not what I mean. This isn’t home. And I don’t think the new place will be home either. It’s just easier to type that than, “I went to the place where I sleep.”

And on that mildly depressing note I am going to go sleep. My bed is lonely and needs to cuddle.

Prompt Page 0039: Strangers

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Do you possess a mild case
of “stranger danger”? 

My mom always had this saying, “There are no strangers, just people you haven’t met yet.”

I always find myself in awe, and mildly jealous, of people who seem to be so at ease in social situations. While I can hold my own, and while I can direct a conversation just as much as I can be an observer, and while I can appear graceful during the encounter, for me socializing is so immensely draining.

One of the best times I’ve ever had was going to a rock concert with my older brother. We were there all day. I jumped around and sang like no one was watching and had a fantastic time.

It literally took me three days to have the energy to do more than cook bowls of soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. I stayed at home. I didn’t answer my phone. I stayed in my room, in the dark, under the covers of my bed. At times I would listen to music, but not often. I think I logged on to World of Warcraft once, but then someone messaged me so I logged off.

That was one of the most extreme, and intense social situations I have ever been in. Amusement parks and roller coasters are the same way for me. They’re super, amazingly fun, but I feel dead for days afterwards. It’s like a social high, and afterwards I crash.

Normal interactions aren’t that intense for me, but as an introvert EVERY interaction takes energy. That is one of the reasons why I’m content to come home to my cat and not talk to my roommates, or gab on the phone, or really do much of anything social. I’m social all day at work, meeting new students, solving problems, arranging events and tutoring. I give and expend energy all day. I need time to recover or a crash is inevitable.

It takes even more energy out of me if I don’t know the person, if I’m interacting with a stranger. I have to process everything from square one.

What are their mannerisms? What are their speech patterns? Nervous habits? Where do their eyes tend to focus? Body language? Based on the conversation and topics mentioned what type of information seems to be important to them? Are they more right brained or left brained? Introverted or extroverted? Are they a gold, blue, green, or orange personality color? What seems to be their love language based on our interactions?

My inner scientist goes into overdrive scribbling notes on pieces of paper, making diagrams, and cross referencing files so the next time we interact with this person we will have as much information as possible.

All of that isn’t even stuff that I ‘try’ to observe. I don’t consciously put effort into creating a profile for people in my head. It’s just how I function. It’s how I interact with my daily world.

Daily To-Do List:

Wake up
Shower
Observe EVERYTHING
Go to sleep
Repeat

Everything from the way a person’s smile might have a tendency to pull to one side, to how a person breathes, to the way they walk. I see all of it, make mental notes on all of it.

I most likely sound like Creeper McCreeperson now, but there you go.

#INFJ problems

The point being, if it’s the first time I’ve met you, my brain is trying to figure out all of the millions of things that make you unique, and then logging all of that information away so it can be referenced if the need ever arises, if we ever meet again.

Subsequent encounters won’t be as draining as the first. There won’t be as much anxiety on my part, since new people are scary at first. I have to figure out if you’re a treat or not.

Most of the time people aren’t, but there’s always that one jerkface person, who can cause emotional discord. Mental and spiritual harm are just a bad as physical, and I have to assess if there is any danger in those arenas when I meet someone new.

What topics would we not agree on and should be avoided? What interests do we share? Morals? Values? Guiding principles?

I’m not one for ‘striking up conversations’ on my own, but I’m more than willing to participate in them as long as I find the subject worthwhile.

Sorry, I really don’t care about your shoes, or what’s going on in the news, especially political BS. I might be up for talking about the weather, but if you interrupt a train of thought I was having for something super trivial I’ll most likely be agitated which will sort of cloud the whole experience for me.

Left Brain: Hmm, a human is seeking us out for interaction. Interesting… *beings scribbling in her notebook*

Right Brain: How dare you interrupt my meditation on penguin world domination!!! I shall have you punished for your insolence!!! Off with their head!

I’m not going to lie, I’m super finicky when it comes to socializing with people I know, much less strangers. Some days are better than others. I have more energy so I don’t mind interacting. Other days I’m barely keeping it together and the last thing I want is an ad hoc event thrown at me where I have to make an impression when I feel like everything is falling apart around me.

Not a good time bro…

Groups are another thing that can be a huge deterrent. I feel more comfortable when the ratio of people I know to people I don’t know is in my favor. The more people who are new, the more uncomfortable I’m going to be, the sooner I’m going to try to check out so I can go home and cross stitch.

It’s not that I’m anti-social. It’s not that I have a disorder. I know what I’m comfortable with, I know my personality type, and I know what I can handle and for how long.

It’s like lifting weights. If you lift small weights you can go all day. If you lift something super, ridiculously heavy you might only be able to do one rep. If the weight is too much you might not be able to lift it at all. You’re using your muscles, energy, in differing degrees, so you’re going to get different results.

The same thing can be applied to my social energy. The heavier the situation, the harder it’s going to be for me, and the more time I’m going to need to recover. There’s a lot of factors that go into determining the ‘weight’ of a social situation.

I’m pretty sure I just went on a random tangent and somewhere along the way words ended up on a page…

So I suppose in conclusion, strangers are cool, just in small doses. I’m going to go back to thinking about penguins now.

Musing Moments 0019: 30 Day Challenge – Day 10

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One more light day before the challenge picks back up with the deep stuff.

Today we’re supposed to rewrite our goal list, without looking at the one we made the previous week, then figure out a push goal based on our new list. The idea behind rewriting goals is that life changes. Our priorities shift, things happen, and what’s important one day may not be what’s important a week later.

Also, as people progress through he challenge they become more aware of themselves, their priorities, and how some of their original goals may not line up with what they really want.

So there’s actually a lot of benefit for creating the list over again.

I, personally, am going to skip this part of the challenge. I like the goal list I have. I like the over arching goals I am working towards, and I do no feel the need to rewrite my list.

I have a slightly different approach to my goals than the one Chalene is trying to teach. It is another point where my way differs slightly, and I’m ok with that. Find what works for you and go for it. There’s no ‘right’ way.

Since my way works for me, I’m going to keep doing my modified version. I’m going to stick to my original battle plan because I like the strategy I laid out in it.

The only other thing to do today is to create our to-do list.

Tomorrow is where it will get interesting for me. It will be the start of using my updated OmniFocus for task tracking. We’ll see how my new system fairs through the week. I’m looking forward to seeing how much I get done. : )

30 Day Challenge – Chalene Johnson

Daily Post 0076: Saturday Bootcamp

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Today has been a day. Not overly productive, but there were some really cool things that happened.

I went to the dojo this morning. Woke up at 8, made it there by 10.

Sensei Jan had said the other night that there would be a guest sensei, a 6 Dan, teaching the class, for free, so it would be really awesome if I would be able to show up. To give you an idea of what 6 Dan means… There are essentially 14 levels in aikido, and this guys is level 12.

I’m level zero still. : D

I got to the dojo a little early, so I was actually able to help clean. I got to polish the wood of the shrine (not sure if that’s it legit name) in the dojo. I really liked that I was able to do something which I felt was important, and to help take care of the dojo in general. It really made me feel like I was part of it. Invested in it.

I don’t just show up and do a workout. I help clean and care for the space as well. There’s a part of me there and I like that.

Anyway… training for 3 hours without breakfast was totally not a smart idea. In fact 3 hours at all I’m pretty sure ranks up there with bootcamp. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.

The moves we were doing were pretty crazy. Definitely not beginner stuff. I felt bad that it was taking me a little while to get some of the moves. The hand work was so crazy, and then there was foot work to go with it, and then the pin at the end.

All of these steps that I have to remember, and just when I’m getting it I have to switch from being the attacker (uke) to being the defender (nage). Which means I’m doing a totally different routine, and then I’m back to being uke, so I have to remember the other set of motions.

I’m not going to lie. It was a lot. And in the beginning it was a little overwhelming. I kept thinking that showing up was a bad move. That I wasn’t ready for this. But I stayed, and the longer I was there the better I felt. I got to practice with Paul, and sensei Jan and Beata. They went slow with me and helped walk me through the moves, explaining what the hands were doing and why, how the feet should move and what would happen if they didn’t do the right thing.

It was really awesome.

I ended up learning how to do a ‘standing’ forward roll. I use the quotes because I was super low to the ground, but they were the highest rolls I’ve done so far, so I was totally proud with myself. It was also the first rolls I have done out of a technic and not just for practice.

That being said. Holy cow was I beat afterwards. I was so sweaty, hungry, and thirsty, and the only thing I did when I got home was get back into bed and not move while my muscles yelled at me for a while.

I ended up going back to sleep until 4ish.

I had a Skype meeting at 5pm that I needed to be awake for. So I got up, ate and poked around at a few things on the computer before that happened.

I was actually pretty nervous about the meeting. Ben had commented on one of my blogs in regards to the 30 Day Challenge I am doing, and wanted to talk about goals, swap information, and just in general get to know one another.

As an introvert I was cool with the idea of writing emails, but talking or using the web cam was so outside my comfort zone. I decided to do it though. I’m not sure why, but it felt like I should.

And I’m so glad I did. We talked about our experiences with goal mastery, our outlooks on life, our purpose, how we interact with the world around us, people we pull quotes and inspiration from. All sorts of deep things that most people aren’t interested in talking about.

It was such a fantastic conversation. It made me realize just how much I get done. It made me realize that I really do a lot of things, and I set a lot of goals that I actually achieve.

It was great being able to talk with another person who shares my outlook on life.

Very positive experience, and I’m glad I went out of my comfort zone.

After the conversation ended I had to get ready for work. Which is where I am at currently.

I have completed my sketch for my final assignment. Tomorrow I will be creating the images needed for it. I think I’m pretty done with today though. I’m still tired from the dojo. I’m sort of glad tomorrow is Sunday and that I can’t go there. I don’t know if I would survive.

Not sure if I’m going to do anything with the rest of my night. Enjoy it… I think I could muster up enough energy to do that at least.

Musing Moments 0018: 30 Day Challenge – Day 9

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As far as the program is concerned, we have only been making a to-do list for a few days. We’re trying to make a new habit, which can be hard and frustrating.

Today’s video lists off a handful of tips and tricks for getting this ‘to-do’ list making habit to stick. Essentially it’s a review of our To-Do List Commandments from Day 6.

Commandments of Thy To-Do List

Make thy to-do at the same time each day
Make thy to-do list at the same place each day
Have thy to-do list with thee at all times
Add 1-2 Push Goal tasks to thy to-do list each day
Review thy list often

The idea is that most things we do, habit wise (going to the gym, eating, weekly meetings) are normally ‘scheduled’, or we try to make the events occur at the same time and same place.

If events are consistent, we know what to plan for. We know how much time to block off. We know how this event factors into the rest of the day and we’re not blindsided by it. Having it occur at the same place, makes sure you are in an environment conducive to what you want to get done.

Positive association is also mentioned. Instead of thinking of to-do list making as a chore, think of it as something positive. This is the roadmap to your day. This is what’s going to get you to where you want to be and help you achieve your goals. It might take a little bit of time out of your day, but think of that time as an investment rather than a waste.

Triggers was another big topic. It’s not enough to make a list. You have to actually check it too, otherwise there’s no way to know if you’re getting the ‘right’ tasks done, the ones that move you forward.

Figure out triggers which will remind you to check your list. Things like specific times of the day (before work, during lunch, before leaving the office), or specific locations (office desk, getting into the car, walking into a different room).

Chalene mentions how one of her triggers is the number 11, so any time she sees that number (on a clock, passing a 7/11, seeing the back of her phone case) she is automatically triggered to think of her to-do list and her push goal.

It may sound silly, but it works, and it’s a useful trick for getting this fledgling of a habit to be a little bit stronger, a little more ingrained.

Todays Homework:

Make a to-do list
List when / where you will make your list and the triggers you will use

 WWT
When Where and Triggers

When is actually something I struggle with.  I am much more consistent about Where.

I always create my list in my room.  It will either be at the end of my day or at the very beginning of it.

I prefer having my list already made when I wake up. My day has already been mapped out, prepped for, so all I need to do is execute. But there’s something to be said for brainstorming in the morning with a cup of coffee.

The ‘when’ doesn’t really bother me as long as it is either after all the action has occurred, or before any of it begins. If I’m forced to make my to-do list during the day I’m normally a pretty grouchy dragon for having my routine thrown off, which is serious bad juju.

grove

And we all know what happened after the groove was thrown off…

As far as where, my room is where I am alone. My phone will be on DnD mode, my email will be closed, and though I may need to look at my calendar to see what events are supposed to occur, I make sure all of my messengers are shut down. Often times if I have music playing it is sans lyrics so I don’t have to focus on any words expect the ones in my head.

This makes sure that I can think uninterrupted. Again, the whole groove thing…

I make my list in a $1 spiral notebook. During the Back to School sales I stock up on notebooks so I have a stash of them for the whole year. I go through roughly a notebook a month.

I have several Triggers. Due to how my job works the hours 1am, 5am, 9am, 1pm, 5pm, and 9pm are all pretty important. Those are ‘start’ hours, so I use them as a way to force myself to check my list. The act of leaving a location, or getting into my car is another big one for me.

Before I pack up, or at least before I head out the door, I skim over my list to make sure I know where it is I’m heading with the rest of the day. I’m pretty serious when I call it a roadmap.

Those are things that seem to work for me.

Chalene Johnson – 30 Day Challenge

Daily Post 0075: I Love My IF Project <3

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I’m still at work. I thought I was supposed to be here for SAL lab, but my calendar was wrong, so I ended up getting an extra four hours to my day. Huzzah! And I’ve spent in upstairs at work, working on my homework, totally alone and undisturbed. Double huzzah!

I didn’t get the project finished, but I love the way it’s coming out. Like, hardcore, zero fucks given about my grade, this is one of the best projects I’ve done level of proud. At least the best Photoshop assignment that I’ve done.

I’ll post it after writing.

Today was pretty alright. My shoulder blades are soooo incredibly sore from practicing my punches the other day. I had to deal with them complaining all day over any and everything I tried to do. Sort of lame, but they’re feeling better since I got to stretch at aikido.

My shin and left ankle have been bothering for the past few days, too… So of course I went running last night, because screw you body.

I didn’t go to the gym this morning. Instead I worked through my 30 Day Challenge stuff, then up graded and restructured OmniFocus. I think that was an ok thing though due to my physical form trying to fall apart on me. I’m actually wondering if two hours a day is a little extreme at the moment. Maybe I should back it down a bit?

I’m still mulling it over in my head.

Anywho, eventually I finished with OmniFocus, so I showered and went to my sports bar. I was a little nervous walking it. Part of me expected them to turn me away or something because of last Friday. My server was super happy to see me though.

She asked how I was feeling and was her pleasant self. I told her I was doing well and I gave her the card I bought from Walmart the other day. I asked if the manager was in because I had a card for him, too.

She said he was, and took the card to him for me. They both came back and were super appreciative. My server said it was the nicest, more genuine act anyone had ever done for her.

I hope random acts of kindness happen to her more often. She deserves them.

After catching up on emails and WordPress I ate then went to school where I worked on my homework until it was time for aikido.

Tonight was open mat, so I got to do my own thing. Sensei Jan and Beata were there. I got more help with my back rolls, which was awesome. I’m starting to really feel them, and how the energy moves through them.

I’m still not super awesome at it, but I can tell I’m getting better. I practiced some dynamic movements with Sensei Beata for a while as well. She was helping me work through the moves for my Kyu 6 test.

I’m eligiable for testing next weekend. I’m nervous about it. I want my mom or someone to be there for me. It’s always easier to do a test or performance when I know that someone is there for me, cheering me on.

I don’t know. And right now I’m sort of too tired to put much thought into it. I’m not all that interested in testing to be honest. I’m not doing it for a belt color.

Something Sensei Jan said tonight has sort of wormed it’s way into my brain, though. Both he and Beata constantly tell me how I’m advancing really fast. Jan said that I still am too gentle, soft. I don’t want to hurt anyone, which isn’t a bad thing, but my moves need to to have intention behind them. There needs to be energy.

He said once I get that, “once I come out of my shell” he said, I will be amazing. He said that once that happens, he will remind me about this conversation so I can remember how far I have come.

The ‘amazing’ comment is what keeps fidgeting and calling my attention.

What if I did become really good? Like, “to the level that I could teach” good?

There’s a part of my brain that is very still, very aware right now. There is something in me that connects with that idea on a very deep, super serious level. It’s not a joking, “ha ha I could teach”. It’s an, “I could teach…” A super soft, quiet realization.

If I practiced and kept at it, there’s no reason why I couldn’t. It’s sort of a mind blowing realization.

For right now I’m going to keep on doing my classes for Digital Arts and Design, and then Web Design most likely. After that Psychology and Sociology. Maybe after all of that schooling I’ll be ready to be a sensei myself.

The Earth Dragon in me is giving me knowing eyes. I think there is something there in that realization. I knew when I walked into the dojo that morning back in January that aikido was going to be a very large part of my life. I think I’m only now grasping just how big it could be.

I left the dojo so I could be at work on time, only to find out that I didn’t have to be here for lab. Which I was totally ok with because that meant I got to put in more time on my homework.

I talked to Ashley earlier. I’m allowed to start painting the room, but they haven’t cleared out any of Warren’s stuff, so I’ll need to do that before I can do anything else. Blah…

I talked to Sam and Tim, and they said they could help me move everything. Which would be great. Not sure when that’s going to happen. I’m going to have to see if I have enough money to get a UHaul for the furniture I want to get rid of. There’s the possibility that Joshua will let me leave the stuff I don’t want in the room until the end of the lease. He and Susan are going to be staying until the end of May. I suppose that’s something I can ask him about. It would be nice if I could do that. It would make it a bit easier.

Right now I’m writing this up before heading home to stitch. I want to get a bit done before calling it a night. But for the most part, today is done.