I feel like I’ve been MIA for a while, and it’s been nice. However it leaves me with a ton of stuff to write about. Apparently 12 pages worth of writing. My bad… But I’m glad I stepped away from the computer for a while, and I’m equally glad that I’m able to recall most of what happened, in the correct order. /flex

 

A lot of it has warm fuzzy feelings attached to it, too, which is also nice. I don’t think there has been any real discord or fighting between Zane and I. and while there have been a few dips here and there, it wasn’t due to an argument. It was all self inflected, which I’m sure I’ll get to.

 

Friday was a nice day. I got to work a bit early so I was able to get the key from the key box. Normally David picks it up. It didn’t rain on the way to school, or the way home, though by the time I left it was pretty cold outside.

 

Since it was the last lab before the holiday break I had the two trays of cookies for my class. They were appreciative of the gift and several students commented on how thoughtful I was. I mentioned that it was nothing and that I appreciated them showing up for lab. They could have been “irresponsible” and taken the hit on their attendance, leaving school early to start their break. Instead they showed up and worked on their assignments. That means a lot to me, and I wanted to do something nice so their last night before the break wasn’t a drag. Or at least less of one if there hadn’t been cookies.

 

While I was in lab I went ahead and placed the order for the tops I want. Of course by then one of them was sold out. Lame. Since the package is being delivered to the store, making my shipping free, I’m going to see if they happen to have it on display. If they do I’ll most likely get it. It was a gorgeous maroon color, with a latticed back across the shoulder blades. Long flowy sleeves, too. Seriously it was the one top that I was hardcore looking forward to. Not that I don’t like the others, but this was my favorite that I picked, and it’s the one that I’m currently not getting… Lame.

 

The online store isn’t charging me for the top since they didn’t have it. So if it is at the physical store I wouldn’t be spending more than I had already planned on spending. We’ll see how that goes. I don’t think the tops will be in until after Christmas, so I have a bit of time to wait.

 

Zane cooked the Shepard’s pie for dinner Friday.

 

It. Was. Amazing.

 

Seriously. I have never had anything like it, and that makes me so happy. Shepard’s pie is a traditional dish for him, and he really wanted me to enjoy it. But all I have are mildly traumatic memories of disliking it intensely.

 

Zane made the dish a bit differently than his recipe calls for. The mashed potatoes were a bit wetter than normal, an accident which resulted in him not making the gravy that he normally would have. The potatoes he used was actually colcannon, which has kale and leeks in it. I love leeks and it gave the potatoes an incredible flavor, one that wasn’t in the previous dishes I have tried.

 

There was burger, mushroom, carrot, and pepper jack cheese. The cheese was another change. Normally it would have been cheddar according to Zane, but with the other changes to the dish cheddar didn’t seem like a good fit anymore. It was a beautiful dish, full of so many colors, and the smell was fantastic, too. I found myself wanting to try it because there didn’t seem a way for any of it to be bad.

 

I was so worried about not liking it. I was so set on the fact that this was going to be another wedge between us that I hadn’t considered what would happen when I super, uber, liked the dish and didn’t want to share any of it. XD

 

Zane was happy, I was happy. Lots of happy and good food. It was a great way to end the evening and the week. I stayed up literally all night, until 6:30am cross-stitching.

 

I started watching Dr. Who again. Mostly with Zane, but there have been several episodes throughout the weekend / week (since we’re into Tuesday already >.<; ) that I have watched alone.

 

It was weird at first. Dr. Who was something I had only watched with RB. That’s actually most of the reason I purposely have avoided watching anything Dr. Who related. I can remember his excitement about sharing his favorite show with me. Our conversations when I didn’t understand something. His disbelief that I didn’t like Rose.

 

I think Donna is still my favorite at this point, and that’s something Zane doesn’t like. He thinks Donna is shrill and annoying.

 

And I agree. I don’t think Donna and I would get along very well if we ever met in person. At least not if I met her at the beginning of her time as a companion. But towards the end she had so much growth. She became such a stronger, more empathic person. I feel like out of all of the companions I have seen, she changed the most. She was just a friend for the Doctor. She wasn’t his romantic interest, and she didn’t have a romantic interest in him. It was just two buds hanging out. And I liked that. There weren’t awkward feelings of unrequited love, or relationship emotional drama. I liked that, a lot.

 

So yeah, I’m a Donna fan. And I watched all of those episodes with RB. Dr. Who will always be “his” show, even if I’m watching it with a different person. And I think Zane understands that. I don’t want to erase those memories. I don’t want to forget those conversations. Those nights where we ate dinner while watching an episode. How we would take breaks every so often so I wouldn’t go crazy from sitting in front of the TV for so long. Those are special to me, and in the beginning of watching the show again, it sort of hurt because I felt all of those things all at once. So much inside of my chest. But it eased over, the tidal wave passing. And I’m sort of glad that I’m continuing.

 

I like to think he would be happy that I’m watching it again and finding out the rest of the story. I think he would love the fact that one of my favorite episodes is “The Doctor’s Wife”. I think he would be happy that I love the story line of River Song and that she’s another of my favorite characters.

 

I hope that wherever he is at, whatever he is doing, that he’s happy and having a good holiday season. There’s part of me who still misses him and still thinks about the time he sent me a text asking to meet. I still have it on my phone. I haven’t deleted it, even though I regularly go through and delete messages. For me it’s a cleanliness thing. I don’t like having emails or messages cluttering up my inbox. But I can’t delete this one even though every time I look at it there’s a twinge inside my chest.

 

I don’t know if it’s part of subconsciously holding on. But I’m not ready to do it. Just like I can’t forget his smile or how he would call me Freya. How no one calls me that anymore. He was, is, special, and even if it hurts I don’t want to change that. I don’t want to twist the good memories into something dark and hateful just so they hurt less. I want to keep them the way they are. I want to remember him as someone I loved, and still love in my own confusing, unexplainable way.

 

There was an awesome quote I read the other day.

 

My mouth can’t translate the things my heart says. ~ Jim Akanishi

 

And I guess that’s where I’ll leave that tangent. There aren’t words complex enough, deep enough, expressive enough, to paint the picture, the emotions, inside of my mind.

 

Because I stayed up so late Friday you would have thought I would sleep Saturday away. Instead I was up around 10:30 with Zane. We made plans. Mostly me running around and doing errands while I had the option of using the car.

 

I packed the laundry into the trunk, along with the bike to take it to get tuned up. I got to see Aryan again. He’s the guy who’s been helping me with all of my bike stuff. He helped me pick out my helmet, and showed me the light that he uses while biking to work himself. He’s been extremely kind and helpful, answering all of my questions, regardless of how silly they may seem. I was so happy that he was the one to check my bike in. He explained that they were going to replace the chain, and that my back tired need to be replaced as well. He answered all of my questions about those things, and little by little he’s turning me into a biking pro.

 

Since they had other bikes in the shop, and because I was getting a pretty involved package done they said the bike most likely wouldn’t be ready until Sunday. I said that was fine, that I wasn’t in a rush, and whenever it got done was awesome.

 

With that taken care of I headed back towards home. Zane had called while I was in the shop saying I had forgotten a few pieces of laundry and since I hadn’t started it yet I figured going back home was the smart choice. I sat and smoked for a bit with him. I don’t remember what flavor it was, but it had been a bit of a chore to get the bike into my tiny car, and then all of the socializing with Aryan, plus the lack of sleep and in general wanting to be a slacker… energy wise I was just tired, and a break in my running around, since I had already done “so much” seemed nice.

 

After a little bit I headed back out. I went to CVS first to pick up a card for my older brother and Alex since I was planning on mailing him the money order. I got the cards, perfect ones of each of them. I went to the bank for the money order and got to see Connie. She’s the teller who had the baby. It was nice to be able to wish her happy holidays.

 

I had planned on stopping by the post office to mail off Alex’s card and the Verizon box, but the line was so long that there were cars waiting for parking spots and parking across the street or in the grass… Totally not going to stand in line that long. Sorry not sorry. It can happen a different day.

 

So instead I drove down to Target. The last time Zane and I were there he had seen a stone serving tray that he wanted to get. It was like a mini cutting board, and he loved it because it would have been perfect for cutting shisha on it. The stone would be easier to clean and wouldn’t stain like the plastic ones we’ve been using. It was a pretty gray marble stone.

 

I had told him not to buy it since Christmas was just around the corner. So here I was being a sneaky Santa and going out to get it for him while he was at home. Only they didn’t have any more. They had changed the display on the aisle, and nowhere, literally nowhere, could I find these stone serving trays.

 

I was so mad, and angry, and disappointed in myself. I even went onto the website on my phone to try to find the trays, but they weren’t listed. They only had these ugly mixed colored ones, and I didn’t want to get it. First because it was ugly and I personally didn’t like it. Secondly because it was ugly and I knew Zane wouldn’t like it either.

 

It sucked. So much. Zane and I had played 20 questions Friday night where he tried to guess the present I had said I had already bought him. So now not only was I a failure, but a liar, too. I ruined Christmas.

 

As I was sitting at the stoplight trying to figure out what I was going to do, Zane called me. I couldn’t pretend to be happy. I knew I answered the phone with all of the disappointment in my voice that I was feeling in my chest. And when he asked me what was wrong I told him.

 

I told him how I was upset because I hadn’t been able to go to the post office because of the line, and that I had gone to Target because I had lied and hadn’t actually gotten his gift yet, but that they didn’t have it any more, and that the website didn’t list it, and that I was angry and feeling like a failure because even if I did get him something else it wouldn’t be the same because we had already played our game and that was the gift I wanted to get him.

 

I admit that it was a bit of a mini melt down. But there are a few things that factor into that.

 

I wrote a few weeks ago about how I had to run out to the store and pick something up, and while I was out I planned on getting Zane breakfast Danishes from the bakery because he didn’t have anything to eat for breakfasts.

 

Well, I guess he hadn’t really liked them all that much the previous week, but hadn’t told me that. So when I showed up at home with more of the Danishes… well it led to an awkward conversation where I felt sort of bad about the gift I had bought for him. I was trying to do something nice, but I had gotten the wrong thing. He apologized for not letting me know that he hadn’t really cared for the Danishes, and that he appreciated me trying, but it still sort of sucked.

 

There is also the pen incident. One of the times I did laundry I didn’t check his pockets and ended up washing three of the pens Zane really loves. While I was out getting printer ink last week I checked to see if they had another pack of the pens. They did, so I bought them. Only they were .8 instead of .5.

 

They’re not the same. They’re thicker, and as soon as Zane mentioned the difference, before he even tried writing with them, I knew that they were going to be wrong. As an artist, I personally know that the thickness gives the pen a different feel. And maybe you don’t even have to be an artist to have an appreciation, or an awareness of that. Maybe it’s just something some people are sensitive to and others aren’t. Like having a preference for Coke over Pepsi. Some people care, hardcore. While others don’t.

 

Maybe it’s like that. But Zane and I are so similar that I knew, instantly knew, that I had gotten the wrong thing and that even though he again, appreciated the gesture, that it was inherently wrong. Like getting a home made sweater for Christmas as a kid… Thanks grandma…. But I’m never going to wear it and it will collect dust in my closet until I “out grow” it and can’t wear it.

 

So I’ve had really, really bad luck with gifting things to Zane. And here was my chance to get something that I knew he would like. That he had told me he would like. And I told him during our game that if he didn’t like it I would stab him because he had told me to my face that he liked this item, so if he didn’t like it he had been lying to me. And now I wasn’t able to get it for him. I suppose I could have run around to tons of different stores looking for this one serving tray, but at the time it felt hopeless. It’s not something they’re apparently stocking any more, so there was no guarantee of finding it. And I didn’t have an item name or serial number they could look up in their systems, so I couldn’t call ahead and make sure. It felt so incredibly hopeless in the moment.

 

And so all of this I poured out on Zane. How I felt like I wasn’t able to get the whole gift thing right, and the one chance I had, the one time I told him not to get something that he wanted, I messed up and now he wouldn’t be able to get it at all.

 

Sooooo much lame. >.<;

 

He talked me through those feelings though, and we actually came up with an awesome plan. There is a kitchen shop down town on Park Avenue that he really likes. He said I could come home and relax and we could look at their website together and see if there was anything that would work as a replacement cutting board since we couldn’t seem to get the one from Target anymore.

 

Since the shop is downtown and near a restaurant we’ve been wanting to try I mentioned that we could make a day of it. On the 29^th Zane has the day off, so he wants to go to a few stores while he’s able to, including setting up an eye appointment.

 

So right now the 29^th seems to be our “Christmas Day”. We’re going to go out and do his errands in the morning, get lunch at the restaurant we want to try, then stop at the kitchen store to see about getting the cutting board he wants. We may even get ice cream depending on how full we are since we’ll be right next to the Haagen-Dazs shop. A completely full date day.

 

We’re both really looking forward to it, and it completely solves the issue of the gift. Zane and I are both hard to shop for. We’re both picky, and we know exactly what we want. Most of the time they aren’t cheap things either.

 

So when Zane kept nagging me about what he could get me for my birthday or Christmas I kept saying nothing. I really don’t want much of anything but for him, it doesn’t feel right to get gifts for everyone else, Nic, Hannah, Trevor, and not to get his “main squeeze” something. He said it felt wrong. So, he’s going to be getting me a set of free weights, and new earrings since I’ve only had one earring for about 9 months now. I keep playing with the balls, unscrewing them while I’m thinking or daydreaming, and then they fall off because they’re loose and the ring falls out…

 

So yeah. New earrings and weights for me, and a shisha cutting board for him, coupled with an amazing day out walking around downtown. I really hope it works out the way I see it inside of my head.

 

I was completely beat from my emotional rollercoaster. I went from up to down to mildly up again in less that 15 minutes. I was done with the day and being out. I went back home, per Zane’s orders, and cuddled with him on the couch while we poked around on the kitchen store’s website. He actually found something that he really liked, so we have an idea of what to look for when we go to the store.

 

We chilled for a while before going out together and doing the grocery shopping. We did really well with the budget. I got the things I needed to make chili and shrimp scampi. We also got a duck for Christmas day since we wanted to do something sort of special. Christmas isn’t a big deal for either of us, but we wanted to do something together. Food is always a good “togetherness” option.

 

We also got steak for dinner that night along with a six-pack of apple cider because I wanted apple cider. No real reason. Just haven’t had any in a while. Angry Orchard didn’t have any of their Green Apple, so we went with a different brand. Don’t remember the name of it, but I really enjoyed it. : 3

 

Even with $40ish dollars of extra spending we were under budget. Not by a whole lot, but enough that I was pleased with ourselves. Go us!

 

We went back home, I cooked the steak dinner eventually, and that was pretty much Saturday. It felt like a really long day, and I was happy to sit and cross stitch while watching more Dr. Who.

 

Sunday I woke up around 10:30. It was my birthday. I already had tons of messages on Facebook and my phone. Messages which I admit to ignoring for the whole day.

 

I was supposed to go to Lance, the stage fighting group, but I didn’t go. Just didn’t feel like rushing or having obligations, or being around anyone and making friends. I just wanted to chill and honestly, to ignore most of the world. So I did. I stitched. Zane cleaned out the fridge because that was on his to-do list. He wanted to go through everything in the fridge, and anything that was past its expiration date, regardless of who bought it, got thrown out.

 

There’s so much more room in the fridge now. It’s great.

 

We went to sushi for lunch because that’s what I had wanted. Really, it was the only thing I asked to do for the day. No crazy party, no going out for drinks, no hanging out with people or having them over. Just a quiet lunch at a place we both like. So that’s what we did. And it was awesome. Hannah didn’t work until later that night, so we had a different server, but it was still a really good experience.

 

I received a phone call saying the bike was ready to pick up. I really didn’t want to stuff it into the back of my car after spending $200 on a tune up. Part of that expense was buying a new chain for the bike along with a new rear tire. But that’s a lot of money and I didn’t want to mess any of that up by transporting the bike improperly. I was thinking about biking it back home from the shop. It would only be about a 5-mile ride, if that. But it looked like rain, and the wind was blowing, and I really wasn’t feeling all that energetic, though I told Zane biking would most likely fix that. I needed to start moving in order to want to move sort of a thing. The hardest part is getting started sometimes.

 

He wasn’t comfortable with me biking though with the weather looking so bad. He said he knew as soon as he dropped me off and got back home that the sky would open up and I would call needing a ride anyway. To be fair, that is what most likely would have happened.

 

So instead, I dropped Zane off at home, since I can’t transport the bike and a passenger. I have to scoot the passenger seat all the way forward to get the bike into the back, and Zane is too tall to be kissing the dashboard like that. So he got to stay home while I went to the store.

 

Aryan was there again, so that was a pleasant surprise. I took the bike out for a test run around the streets near the store. It feels amazing. So much better than it did. It’s surprising how bad something can get and you not notice as long as it happens gradually. The ride is so much smoother now, easier. The chain doesn’t skip on the highest gear. There’s less friction because there’s enough air in the tires. It’s great. And everything is shiny again and not icky looking with dirt and grime. Totally money well spent.

 

I got the bike back home. Put the front tire back on and rode around the complex just to make sure I didn’t mess anything up by putting the bike in my car. Everything still felt fine, so I guess we’re good. I stitched a bit more after carrying the bike up the stairs. It wasn’t long after coming home that I took a nap with Zane, both of us curling up in bed for a little over an hour.

 

I felt better after the nap. More with it.

 

Eventually I went out to do laundry, which hadn’t gotten done the previous day. Zane needed pants, and work shirts. I wanted my workout stuff washed and to actually do something productive. It just sucked that it involved having to go back out into the world. My compromise was that if I did this chore I would go to my sports bar and order wings to go for dinner. Another birthday treat for being awesome and productive.

 

So that’s what I did. I cross-stitched was at the laundry mat, listening to “The Sound of Music” which was playing on the TV. I got to hear my two favorite songs from the musical, which made the whole adventure worth it. I also received a compliment on my cross stitch from another woman who was there. That made me smile and feel warm.

 

I folded the laundry while I was there and had the space to do it. It makes it easier to carry since the cloths aren’t overflowing the basket. They’re nice and organized and easier to put away once I get home when I take the time to straighten them before hand.

 

I didn’t have the number for the sports bar. I’m thinking about adding it to my favorites list though… So I had to place my order once I got there and wait. I got a basket of fries for Zane while I was there. I didn’t have to wait all that long, and while I was waiting I took the time to respond to the text messages on my phone. I had one from Lio, Jason, my mom, a few friends who were former students. I even got one from my dad. I was also messaging Zane to keep myself entertained.

 

Once the food was ready I headed back home where I ate part of my dinner, then went back to stitching. I ended up going to sleep before Zane, and since he is doing his catnap sleep schedule he stayed on the couch when he actually did go to sleep. I know he did a bit of cooking when he woke up. I vaguely remember the sound of the skillet and the smell of more of the Shepard’s pie beef. The sounds and smells were comforting. Homey feeling. Safe feeling. I was able to fall back to sleep easily, and I don’t think I ever fully woke up. I vaguely remember when he came into the room to dress and kiss me goodbye. All of those are nice memories. Soft and dream like, but I know they happened.

 

Monday I didn’t get out of bed until around 11:30. Super late. My younger bother ended up calling me and we had a good conversation. He is planning on coming to Full Sail and wanted to talk to me a bit about it. I had breakfast and coffee. I replied to the 40+ messages on Facebook that I got on Sunday. I started talking to a friend that I had lost contact with for a bit. I really didn’t do much of anything worth noting until almost 4pm.

 

I stitched for a little bit. When Zane messaged me that he was on his way home I prepped the hookah for him. I started cooking the chili, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, and I put the cloths away. Yep, I’ve been up and doing things all day…. Totally wasn’t a slacker….

 

Honestly it was a low day yesterday. But it’s winter. Almost Winter Solstice. Actually, that’s today. We’re halfway through. And even though the moon is waxing, I feel so tired. I’m glad there isn’t the normal depression this winter. At least, it doesn’t seem to be as bad as it has been in the past. I remember this was when I meet James last year. I wonder if he remembers me at all, or thinks about me.

 

I like where I’m at right now, and I think that has a large part to do with not being so depressed. I can’t help the low energy thing. Even now, as I type, my toes are cold, my coffee is empty, and all I want to do is curl back under the covers and sleep. Hibernate until late spring when it’s warm and sunny and everything is alive feeling.

 

For being a winter baby I sure do dislike my birth season. Maybe that’s because opposites are supposed to attract.

 

Either way, we’re in the home stretch today. The Earth continues to turn and the longest night will pass. There will be more and more sunlight. More and more warmth. For me, the year is waxing now. Growing towards my season. That gives me strength. Like I’ve made it through something that I didn’t know I was really struggling with. And maybe I didn’t notice it as much because this year I’m not alone.

 

Whatever the reason, I’m glad for it. I’m glad that I’m just tired feeling rather than tired and sad. I’m glad that I’m fighting my body more than my mind because the body is easier to deal with for me.

 

I didn’t fight it yesterday though. I didn’t make myself go biking, or give myself shit for continuing to not train. I have something like 46 days until my race. I should be freaking out. But I’m not. And I’m going to continue to enjoy my time off from work. My recovery. If working out happens, great. If not. Ok. I accept those consequences. I might not be able to make it through everything come race day. But I knew that before starting this. I knew that three months was a sort amount of time. Which is why this is my trial run, and the June race is my legitimate race.

 

That doesn’t mean I’m going to half ass this one. But it does mean that I’m going to respect myself. I’ve been pushing pretty hard. I’ve been doing well. I think I’m allowed to have a few days, a week or so, to regroup. I have my game plan inside of my head. I haven’t given up.

 

Because yesterday started so late, by the time I was awake enough to do much of anything it was already almost dark outside, and I would rather not bike in the dark if I don’t have to. I also have my commission that I have to finish before Christmas Eve, so I would rather get that done instead of working out.

 

So that’s what I did most of yesterday. Aside from the few things I’ve already mentioned, the chores and chili cooking, I didn’t do much other than stitch and watch more Dr. Who.

 

Yes… I am binging on that show. I’ve almost caught up to the current season. I’m on the episode “Angles in Manhattan”. An episode Zane said I would most likely want to watch with him because of the emotional impact it will have on me. Great. One of “those” episodes. >.<;

 

I sent Marcus a work in progress image of the commission. There’s still a ways to go, but I’m confident about getting it done in the next two days.

 

Yesterday I got my mom’s calendar in the mail, so the only thing I have left to do is get a gift for my sister in law. I still have no idea what she would want. Once I get it figured out I’ll be able to mail all of the cards and gifts in one go, though. Looking forward to sending off my little box of joy to my family. : )

 

I also got my birthday card in the mail from my mom. She got me a gift card to Moe’s, one of my favorite-est places to eat, and a gift card to Jo Anne’s, the place where I get most of my stitching supplies. She also said I should be getting a gift card to Crisper’s in the mail, the soup and sandwich shop that I go to every once in a while on campus.

 

I haven’t had a chance to talk to my mom yet. She sent me a text message on my birthday, but when I tried calling her a few times she didn’t answer. My older brother said she was sick when I was texting him at the sports bar. She sent me an email yesterday saying that she slept for most of my birthday and that she wanted me to know she wasn’t snubbing me.

 

I replied this morning already, saying that if it made her feel better I slept for most of my birthday, too, though I think my sleep was a bit more enjoyable. I’m hoping we can chat a bit later today. I think it’s still early in Vegas. Silly time zones and stuff.

 

I also got a check from John yesterday for the storage unit. He had asked me how much it was, $75? And I told him no, that it was only $50, though if he wanted to send $75 I wouldn’t complain. I had meant it jokingly so I wasn’t expecting to get a check for $150. That covers his side of the storage unit up through March, which works out great. That’s when we should be getting rid of the unit because everyone is moving out of the apartment.

 

We’ll see how all of that works out. We found out last night that Danielle quit her job. I can’t say I’m surprised. She doesn’t seem the type of person to want to do much of anything. I know that’s not a nice thing to say, but I feel like it’s the truth. She comes from a family with money. This was the first job she’s had ever. She feels like she shouldn’t have to pay rent here because her belongings aren’t here, even though she sleeps here 6 out of 7 nights a week.

 

Under her logic, Trevor and I shouldn’t have to pay rent because over half of our stuff is in a storage unit.

 

She has this air of self-entitlement that makes her unattractive to me. Everyone mentions how she’s pretty, but her soul isn’t to me. She’s selfish, self-centered, and that’s a huge turnoff for me. And I’m not even talking about on a romantic level. Just as a person, I don’t want to be friends with her. She lacks empathy, and feels like if she doesn’t like something, she shouldn’t have to do it.

 

She feels closed-minded. And I dislike that in people. And instead of bashing her further, I’m going to leave off that topic with saying I hope she grows as a person because I think she has a lot of potential.

 

I really hope Trevor and Danielle still move out. I hope she is able to find a different job, maybe one she likes more. There’s nothing to do in that area other than wait since the situation is literally outside of my control.

 

Today is already pretty much done as well. Hannah is coming over around 1pm to drop her key off. She’s going back home to visit family so Zane is taking care of her cat again. I want to bike to the post office and bank today to deposit John’s check and mail off the Verizon box. I could also mail John’s and Alex’s holiday cards to them while I’m out. And if I’m really feeling frisky I could go to UPS to mail off my cross stitch to my blogging buddy. I had forgotten that FedEx ups their rates on the weekends. I’m not sure about UPS, but they’re super close to the post office, within biking distance, while FedEx is a bit out of the way and along a major road that I would rather not bike on.

 

Other that those things it’s just another day of cross-stitching and being at home alone. I like it. It feels good, even though I’m tired.

 

I’ll try to keep up with writing more so I don’t have to spend an hour or so typing out 12 pages worth of rambling. Mostly because proof reading 12 pages is annoying rather than because I feel bad around writing that much. I totally don’t.

 

No regrets. Not a single letter.

 

And with that I guess I’m done. Off to go heat up come chili before proof reading this halfway, losing interest, then going to watch Dr. Who where my soul is ripped from my chest because something bad happens to Amy and Rory.