Daily Summary:
Another day on the “not so awesome” side of the scale. Not having sinus meds sucks. Nothing is wrong, just stuffy and feeling like crap. Woke up Wrote. Cross-stitched. Went back to sleep. Woke up. Felt like crap. Went back to sleep. Woke up. Felt better. Stayed up for a bit… You get the picture. 

Been watching Centarworld. Not going to lie. It grew on me. Most likely going to finish watching it tonight.

Since I’ve felt crappy most of the day, I haven’t eaten much. An apple, some crackers with cheese… Didn’t put my cross-stitch stuff away. 

Let’s just call today a wash and try again tomorrow.  

Random Ramblings
Tomorrow is 4 years with Ox. It’s crazy to think about what the past 4, or even 5 years have been. 

Mom died. I quit my job as a teacher. I took cna, ekg, and phlebotomy courses. I became a dialysis technician. I began registering for nursing school in Florida. Ox and I met via online gaming. I withdrew from school so I could move instead. Scarlet died. I moved halfway across the country. I started work at a new clinic and began my relationship in earnest with Ox. I got my own apartment. Dagger, Saber, and I found each other. I was told Saber might have feline leukemia. Spent weeks trying to get her to eat and gain weight. Found out she was healthy and I didn’t have to worry. I started nursing school part-time in Nebraska. I was diagnosed with cancer. I withdrew from school after completing my first semester. I had surgery. Covid started. Dagger swallowed a needle and had emergency surgery himself. I helped John move to Nebraska. I moved in with John. I went back to school full time. I became suicidal. I withdrew after completing my second semester. I went back to school part-time during the summer. Work went to hell. I pulled out of school… again. John moved out to live with his partner. I turned in my two-week notice at work. I was convinced to stay. Things started sucking more. I legit gave my notice. I started a new job. I survived training and have been doing well at work. 

None of that is light, airy, easy stuff. 

When I think back about all of the major events… those are all really heavy things. For that to be the past five years of my life… that’s a lot. That’s not including losing patients at work. That’s not emotional/relational drama. There’s also the leadership program I took thought work; the longest and biggest achievement I had obtained since mom’s death. There were the kidney stones, 3 of which were ER visits. Two bouts of bronchitis. With one stone I became borderline septic, resulting in being admitted to the hospital overnight. There’s remodeling the bedroom with Ox…

There are tons of other things I could add to that paragraph, but that paragraph alone makes my heartache. All of those times I gave myself shit for being tired, sad or overwhelmed. 

I’m proud of where I have gotten in relation to where I was in Orlando. 

I’m proud of Ox and I for working through our hard times. And I will always be grateful for his love and support through all of the shit that has been the past four years of my life.