Daily Summary:
Today wasn’t bad. Still a little on the tired side, but health-wise I feel so much better it’s crazy. I got a handful of things done before having to clock in for work. John and I are still figuring out what’s going on with the apartment/house.

So a bit of backstory about that… He and his partner have been looking at buying a house. They’ve been jerked back and forth a bit and so they figured they would wait, then they were looking again, then they were seriously going to wait this time…

Now they have made an offer on a house, it has been accepted, and all everyone is waiting on is for the inspection to take place.

So… John and his partner are looking at having me take over the lease for the house they are currently renting once the lease for my apartment is up. The rental house isn’t in an ideal location, but there are some serious perks to having a house rather than a 3rd-floor apartment. All of this hinges on the inspection going well, so we’ll see. I should know within the next 5 weeks what’s going on in that regard. 

That involved a lot of conversations this morning plus a lot of crunching numbers. 

There was a mini-meeting at work to go over a few changes which recently rolled out, plus covering some topics for what’s on the horizon. Other than that work was pretty chill. I finished cleaning the kitchen during my lunch break since yesterday sort of ruined the whole “taking care of it tomorrow” thing I had going on Monday.

I’ve finished up my evening email stuff. I’m almost done with writing, which will be the last of the computer bit. Then it’s a shower and most likely sleep for me. I might cross-stitch a little. I’m getting close to the end of the project I’m working on. It’s hard to stop stitching when it’s so close to being finished. >.<

Random Ramblings:
My random ramble, the topic I want to write about and figure out, I can’t. At least it feels like I can’t. I am back in the situation I used to be in with Sir where I have shared this space with people in my actual life and now I feel like I cannot write freely for fear of it being taken out of context. 

I fear being confronted with things I am not ready to talk about; that’s why I write about them, to figure out my own thoughts and feelings. I fear their anger. I fear their misunderstanding. It’s exhausting to constantly worry that what I say or do is going to be wrong. What I have already typed is most likely too much.

It sucks. It’s disheartening. It feels like I’ve lost a cherished, sacred space.

I know I will grow past this fear. I know I will figure out this aspect of my life but for right now I am saddened. Since I can’t write what I truly want to write about there doesn’t seem to be much point in writing at all.