Yesterday was alright. Not fantastic, but a far cry from the disaster of fire and brimstone I had pictured in my head.

I got a late start to the day, mostly due to feeling so out of it. Writing helped. It at least let me know the direction I wanted to go in, even if I wasn’t looking forward to it. I had significantly less anxiety about the thought of having the discussion than I would have in the past, so that was reassuring and a positive mark in my book.

Zane and I headed out of the house around 1ish. We stopped by the leasing office first to inquire about his packaged from EBay again. While we were on the way I told him that I appreciated him going to run errands with me. When he first woke up he had mentioned not going. But he got up instead, and that meant a lot to me and I wanted him to know that.

I also took the moment to say that his sleeping habits were starting to bother me, and that I felt like it was because things are sort of icky with work, and that’s bleeding over into other areas. I said that I felt like the lack of short-term goals was another factor.

He agreed with everything I said. Not that, “I’m agreeing with you so you’ll leave me alone,” agree. But a genuine, “I think this is a problem, too,” type of agree.

We were at the leasing office door by then. He said we would talk about it later. I’m not sure if we actually will. He hasn’t brought it up since, but I have voiced my concerns, and that in itself made me feel better.

The leasing office didn’t have the package and had no new information for us. Lame.

We walked to my car to continue on our adventure. I stopped by the vet to pick up new flea medication for Scarlet. It’s been about a month so she needed another application. I’ve also been finding a little bit of flea dust when I brush her. Not the crazy infestation like before, but a little bit is a little bit too much.

That was a quick, painless stop, and $15 later it was labeled a success.

From there we went to the post office. We stood in line for about 10 minutes before we were able to see someone. We mentioned the issue with the change of address process online. I was handed a paper packet and told to fill it out manually instead. It would take about a week longer than the online process, but this would fix things.

I was confused. I said I didn’t see how filling out the same address on paper would solve anything when their system wasn’t able to recognize the address. The associate danced around my question instead of giving me a direct answer as to why this way would work verses the online method.

I’m really not hard to please. At least I don’t think I am. I want to understand. I want to know ‘how’, and ‘why’ and if you can give me solid information to support or justify the reason for doing something, I’ll normally go along with anything.

I need to have reasons and explanations so I’m invested in the outcome. “Because I said so,” isn’t good enough for me, and that’s what I feel like I as told.

Me: There’s an issue with your system. How is this other method going to fix it?

Woman: Because it will.

That’s like saying a game sucks, and when asked why you say, “because it does.” There’s nothing factual in that statement, so I instantly disregard your opinion since you seem unable to support it.

I was agitated at the post office, but I knew I wasn’t going to get a better answer from the woman, so I let it go. I just wish I had something, some sort of assurance that this would actually fix the issue, rather than someone’s word saying that it will. Right now it feels like I’m just hoping, which I don’t like.

Zane asked about the package and was given a number to call. The same one we have been trying to call for two weeks. The line is always busy, so we figured going to the post office in person would be more effective.

Wrong.

Woman: Call this number.

Zane: But I’ve been calling this number. It’s always busy.

Woman: You have to call between 9am and 10am.

Seriously, you can only get someone to pick up the phone during a one-hour time frame?

Whatever. We’ll try it again tomorrow I suppose. That’s the only information the woman would give us, so it’s the only avenue we currently have.

That pretty much took care of all of the chores I needed to do before work. We came back home and watched an episode of No Game No Life while I had lunch.

I showered and headed into work around 4.

Lab was crazy busy. It took me two hours to reply to one email. I gave up on getting much of anything done due to the volume of questions. They aren’t bad questions, there’s just a lot of them. I think this month is going to be one of those months where I stitch during the first lab, or do something else that takes very little brain power.

If I try actually working on something then it’s going to turn into a train wreck in my head with how much I’m going to have to start and stop a thinking process. I don’t do well with being interrupted, and I know that about myself. So lets avoid unneeded stressful situations like that.

I was able to block out a bit of my first concept after we came back from break, which made me feel good. It’s not a blank canvas anymore, so it’s not as intimidating.

After lab I came home. I was frazzled from work. I was antsy and needed to do stuff to get the energy out of my system. I had hoped to start on dinner right when I got home. But Trevor was cooking. And that meant there were people out and about, and I didn’t want to be around people.

I retreated to the room and cuddled with Scarlet but that didn’t help much. Zane and I talked about going out somewhere, but I didn’t really want to leave, and I didn’t really want to spend money, especially since most of the time I feel like you can have better meals at home for way cheaper. I didn’t want to spend money on something that I ultimately wouldn’t be happy with.

I didn’t want to watch anything because I had just been in front of the computer for so long trouble shooting through things, I really didn’t want to listen to anything because that meant processing.

In general I wanted to curl up under a rock for a while.

Honestly, I had hoped to clean the kitchen and do chores when I got home. That helps me transition from work space to home space, but that couldn’t happen last night, and I didn’t have a backup plan for it since this was the first time it’s happened.

I suppose I could have gone to the gym, but I took yesterday as a rest day, and at 9pm I wasn’t really feeling it. More people, and I was tired. Anything with people was pretty much scratched off of the list as a ‘no-go’.

I didn’t even want to play Witcher 3 because brain power. And screens.

Instead I put in headphones and listened to music literally all night. I slept off and on, but only rolled over when I did happen to surface back to consciousness. At 2am I got up and had some tuna with crackers. I couldn’t finish all of it so I gave the remainder to Zane and went back to sleep.

And now I’m awake. I have my eye appointment shortly that I need to shower for and get to. It’s Friday, which means lunch at my sports bar while wrapping up the week. Today is Shading and Lighting lab, so I will have roughly four hours of work time for my assignments. There’s also spin at 5:30 since I’m not able to get to the morning class.

The kitchen is a disaster because I have to clean up from Trevor using it. Another nail in the coffin of why I didn’t cook last night. I would have had to clean, cook, then clean again. Not interested.

I’ll take care of it today, though. I ‘should’ have more energy for it. At least the cleaning will happen. Cooking needs to occur, otherwise the chicken will go bad, and I’m tired of not having a good meal. I was so pumped up for it last night, and then it fell through. Much lame.

I told Zane situations like last night were one of the reasons I enjoy cooking on a set day, like Sunday. That way all of the cooking and dirty dish making is done, and all you have to do is heat up the food in the microwave. Quick, easy, and still healthy.

I don’t have it in me during most of the week to cook every night.

So I guess I’m still trying to find a balance in that area. But overall things are good. There’s still open communication, and the resentment I felt building inside me isn’t there any more.

I should go shower so I’m not late to my appointment. Leave it to me to wake up 2 hours early and still be 15 minutes late.