Look at me not being a slacker and writing. Totally giving myself points for this, in addition to enjoying a cup of hot chocolate.

Today has been alright. Much better then how yesterday evening was.

I never got around to finishing my writing last night because I ended up talking with Mother Earth and J towards the end of my evening. It really helped to balance me out. And it was fantastic to hear their voices.

Being able to be vocal about my anger gave it an outlet, so once we hung up on the Skype call I was sort of deflated. Tired. Worn out from the intensity of the emotions and the events prior to the situation with Jarrett.

I woke up this morning around 9. There was an aikido fundamentals class at 10, but I wasn’t ready to start the day. I stayed in bed, petting Scarlet, just existing for a little while.

I didn’t ‘have’ to be anywhere until 1pm for the SAL lab. And honestly, I didn’t feel like rushing anywhere. I didn’t want to give myself tons of obligations today. So I let myself be ok with not going to the class.

I let myself stay in bed until I was ready to get up.

I showered first, which isn’t really all that interesting or important, but it is different from my normal routine. I normally have to have my coffee first, align myself with the day, and then I shower.

It may be odd, but bathing is for me is much like working out. It is honoring and caring for my body. I wouldn’t say it is an act of worship, but there is significance behind it for me. It’s not just a mindless action factored into my day.

It is purposeful, and so I like to be fully awake, mindful, for the experience. I’m normally not that alert until after I’ve been awake for a little bit.

So maybe that was the biggest difference. I had already been awake for some time, so maybe that was why I felt the need to cleanse before beginning the day.

I’m not sure. But as an INFJ I notice tings like patterns, and when they change. And since this was a change, it was noted as possibly significant.

Thanks brain. I’m sure there was something more useful you could have obsessed over and remembered today…

I prepped the fabric for a new cross stitch project. I even picked out all of the threads for it so I could begin working on it during lab.

I wrote for the daily prompt and have received several warming comments to it. I love being able to share and talk about my passion, and I enjoy it when other people find it interesting. So that gave me tons of warm fuzzy feelings.

Eventually I packed up and headed to school.

Lab was uneventful. I prepped most of the threads I’ll need for this project and then began working on it.

Really I was just taking it easy and letting myself recharge after yesterday.

I did run to the printer upstairs and scan the Dragon of Compassion so I could post him online, and then printed out the new pattern I wanted to work on. Other than that it was pretty chill.

Stitching doesn’t require higher-level thinking for me. I’ve gotten to the point where it is an unconscious process for me.

I’m able to easily set it down to answer questions, and pick it back up without losing where I’m at. And because I’m not really thinking about it, my mind is able to wonder, pondering over different things, or not think at all. Sort of like a zen state.

It was really nice, and I feel it was sort of what I needed from today.

After the lab I went back over to the upstairs break room where I worked, totally alone and uninterrupted, through most of the Photoshop tutorial due for this week. I have one more section left, which is about 25 minutes worth of video, so I’m thinking it will be roughly another 40 minutes total, since I’ll have to do the assignment portion afterwards. Less would be nice.

While I was working I received a comment to my last daily post from The Professionally Depressed Professional. She had a link to a video that gave me a lot of food for thought, especially about relationships and resistance.

A lot of the things mentioned is the video are things that I have been exposed to through Buddhism, but I feel some of the concepts were things that I needed to hear. Things that I need to meditate on and align within myself.

I saw Desiree, Marc, and Nicole as I was leaving to go home. We stood outside and chatted for a bit about tattoos and other random things. It was a relaxing conversation and a nice way to end a fairly good day.

I ended up coming home and having the left over salmon that I cooked the other night, with a key lime flavored yogurt afterwards.

I stitched more and listened to Eldest. Still about 8 hours left in the book.

And now I’m finishing off the night with writing.

I think the thing I’m most introspective about is my reaction to Jarrett. The anger and hurt that I feel from our interactions.

It is easier to let it go. I recover from the emotions faster than I would have six months ago. It is easier to find and return to the peace and stability I have inside of myself.

But it bothers me that it seems to be so easy to lose that feeling. To become lost in the swarm of emotions, and how most of it is from me not accepting reality.

I cause my own pain.

It’s frustrating to know that my thinking is the problem.

It’s like seeing a brick wall and walking into it… Not the smartest thing to do in the world, and it’s hard to not say, “I told you so,” or to sigh in exasperation at myself.

It’s hard to be kind to myself when I knew this is how it would turn out. It’s hard to not be frustrated, to not say negative things and beat myself up internally. But so far I’m doing good.

I’m being patient. I’ve given myself a full day to exist and recoup. I may even take tomorrow to not do much of anything important. Some chores, grocery shopping, maybe running if my legs are up for it.

My left shin still twinges every so often, so I’m not sure if running again would be the best choice. If not, there’s always the gym. No aikido tomorrow since it’s Sunday. But Monday is the mixed martial arts class, so I’m hardcore looking forward to training with Sensei Mike again.

I still remember the 16 punches. I wonder what new things I’ll get to learn. If only I remembered how to count in Korean…

There are so many new words, but I’m doing pretty good at keeping things straight in my head for the aikido moves.

So yeah, tomorrow I’ll finish off my assignment, do some cleaning and cooking, maybe watch Mr. Nobody, which is the video I have picked as my goal for this month. I think I’m going to count the Eckhart Tolle video in my goal listing as well. Personal growth.

Maybe I’ll make a podcast tomorrow, or finish off the Fredenator stuff since I received another email from them; a while ago actually.

I did hear back from my freelance people. I can’t remember if I wrote about that or not. Since it happened yesterday I don’t think I did since I was so wrapped up in the Jarrett situation.

I emailed them yesterday afternoon asking for an ETA on the files since Tre and I are down to less than two weeks to rig the characters, with 2 iterations. That is a not cool time frame for us since we both have a ton of other obligations going on in addition to this project.

Tina said she was still working on it, but that the timetable would definitely be pushed back for us. Which is fantastic.

Tre and I agreed that we wanted a solid 4 weeks for our process. That would give us time to fix up the topology of the models, rig all 5 of the characters, and allow for the animators to play with the rigs and potentially kick them back for any changes or additions.

We should be able to finish before 4 weeks, which will make us look good. But if things start hitting brick walls, we have the time to correct the problems.

So that was another big positive to yesterday.

Fun times.

I don’t really have anything else to type about at the moment. At least I don’t think I do. So I guess I’ll go to sleep for now and see how tomorrow plays out.