My body is so sore. I love it.

I didn’t get to do yoga last night. /sad face

There is a sensei from out of town, so there was a seminar instead. As a new student I wasn’t allow to participate, but I could watch. It was amazing. It was like they were dancing.

You can tell that there is an exchange in the movements. One person is the ‘attacker’, and there comes a point in the moves where the energy of the attacker is transferred back to them, a tipping point, where they no longer are the ones leading.

It is very graceful to watch, and I think that exchange, that grace is what I feel when I get a move right. I can feel the transition, the tipping. You move with it, and you become part of the grace. Part of the dance, the flow.

There was pizza afterwards, but I only new three of the people there, and I’m still really new to the dojo, so while I am starting to feel more comfortable, I didn’t stay. I still had lab that I had to go to later that evening, and I had been fighting off a headache most of the day do to not drinking enough water.

So instead of socializing more, I came home and recovered for a bit.

I’m pretty proud of myself. I’ve been super active, and I’ve begun a new and very real experience. I felt like I could cut myself some slack for not sticking around for pizza.

Lab went well. Frank and I talked about the classes I took. He may start up again with Natalie and his kids. That would be fun I think. Having a few people that I know outside of the dojo being there with me every once in a while might make it feel more ‘mine’.

I’m not sure how to really explain it.

I’m the newest student, so regardless of how open and accepting the other members are, I am still on the outside at the moment. I’m not as familiar with the etiquette, I’m still meeting new people, I’m still trying to find my ‘place’. How I fit into the social aspect of the dojo.

That takes time. And I understand that.

But if there were people that I already knew, I would know my standing with them. It would be a corner stone, and point of reference that I can be familiar with.

I may not know everything, but I know this one particular thing, so I can figure everything else out based on this point.

Again, I’m not sure if it really makes sense. But in my head it does. There is comfort in the familiar, and as an introvert that means a lot to me. It makes me feel more secure.

I got a fair amount of stitching done. Roughly at the halfway point for the Dragon of Compassion. It’s a red dragon so I’m loving the colors. They stand out nicely against the blue of the Earth.

Today I have work at 5pm.

I’m thinking that I’m not going to do much activity. Maybe yoga to stretch. I can feel my shoulders. Which sounds odd. Of course I can feel my shoulders, there’s a nervous system in my skin after all.

What I mean is just by sitting still I can feel my muscles. There is a subtle ache that makes me conscious of them. How the muscle tense and release slightly with each small movement, and flex harder with larger movements. How they ache at a certain point of extension. How they are tired and want to rest, be still.

I know stretching would help loosen them, cause them to ache less. It would be the kind thing to do for my body.

Maybe even sitting in the sauna for a little bit. Warming my body and allowing it to relax.

Nothing very physical will be happening today, that’s for sure. No running, no weights.

And I don’t even feel bad about that. I feel good for everything that I have been able to do this week, and this past month. I’ve done extremely well and I’m proud of that.

I’m going to take my rest day and enjoy it to the fullest.

I have already had my coffee and vitamin. I’m about to go make breakfast and then relax and enjoy existing.