Gratitude:
I am grateful for cat cuddles and pillow mountains and audiobooks about Burnout and warmth and love and connection.
#1 Goal:
Going to Micheals for more thread before going to the apartment to complete my day at work. Also food prep.
#1 Concern
Not getting approved for the lease.
#1 Achievement:
Enjoying my weekend fully without guilt or shame.
Gratitude:
I am grateful for waking up and not feeling like death.
#1 Goal:
Complete the rental application for the house. Also, pay bills so I know how broke I am.
#1 Concern
I’m worried I’ll start feeling like crap as the day goes on.
#1 Achievement:
Deepening my level of self-awareness so I can continue becoming a better version of myself.
Gratitude:
I am grateful for warm blankets, sleep hypnosis files, and working from home so I can be miserable in peace. Ok… maybe “miserable” is being a little dramatic… but only a little. >.>
#1 Goal:
Finish my cross-stitch since I talked to my brother instead of working on it. It was worth it though. We had a good conversation.
#1 Concern
Being too tired to survive the grocery trip with Ox.
#1 Achievement:
Sleeping for most of the night and showering before 10am this morning.
Gratitude:
I am grateful for tasty burritos delivered with love and hugs.
#1 Goal:
Survived. Yeah… we’re back to survival. Fun times…
#1 Concern
Getting through the workday.
#1 Achievement:
Getting a bunch of chores done yesterday.
Gratitude:
I am grateful for being able to reschedule appointments instead of having to show up places and get people sick.
#1 Goal:
Dishes?
#1 Concern
Feeling like crap… continued.
#1 Achievement:
Rescheduling my dentist appointment.
Gratitude:
I am grateful for the people in my life who help me find clear perspective.
#1 Goal:
I don’t know… shower? Maybe putting my not-needed cross-stitch stuff up…
#1 Concern
It never being summer again because summer was a hallucination I created in my head as a way to cope with never ending winter.
#1 Achievement:
Writing consistently for over a week. /flex
Gratitude:
I am grateful for full nights of sleep. <3
#1 Goal:
File taxes. Spoiler. I already did it. /flex
#1 Concern
Resting so I don’t get sick again / finish getting over whatever it is I have.
#1 Achievement:
Finding self-acceptance for my current situation.
Gratitude:
I am grateful for not having to work until later in the afternoon instead of zero-dark-thirty in the morning that way I can spend hours not being able to sleep and still manage to get a nap in before work.
#1 Goal:
Making my final meal before the cauliflower goes bad.
#1 Concern
Still my unstable dynamic.
#1 Achievement:
I achieved my goal yesterday. I also have a five-day writing streak according to WordPress. Pretty content with those two things.
Gratitude:
I am grateful for solitude and inner strength.
#1 Goal:
Finish the two cross stitch patterns which are closest to completion.
#1 Concern
I ended my unstable dynamic.
#1 Achievement:
I cleaned the kitchen last night and made another one of my meals. I also showered. It seems so dumb to type those things as achievements. For me, they are. I could have done nothing. I could have let my depression and anxiety eat away at me. Though those things did hinder my ability to sleep, I’m proud that I still accomplished things within my life even if they were small things.
Gratitude:
I’m grateful for medication and the advancement of health science which afforded me the ability to get through the worst of my sick feelings yesterday.
#1 Goal:
My goal today will still be to survive. I feel better able to do said survival, but I think giving myself a giant task list or some such wouldn’t be kind to myself.
I have already called the dentist. They wanted to move my appointment to a closer date since my crown came in early. I let them know I have been sick and keeping my appointment at the original date would be in everyone’s best interest.
I have also had several conversations with my brother and Ox in regards to future living arrangements. I have managed my email and am in the process of writing… I have done things already. It wasn’t a lot, but they were important things and I want to call it good for today and so I am.
Maybe…. MAYBE… I’ll shower during my lunch break. No commitment though.
#1 Concern
There was a blow-up in what I will refer to as my Unstable Dynamic. This is the issue taking up most of my emotional energy, which I don’t have much of due to being so sick yesterday and still in the process of recovering today.
#1 Achievement:
I took the time to catch up with my evening post yesterday as well as writing today. One step closer to achieving the habit of writing, even while feeling like death. Woo!