Today hasn’t been all that eventful. Mostly because it was a workday. Woke up and did my morning routine. It was hard not having Dagger there, knowing he was at the vet alone. Saber and I cuddled together all night. She missed her brother. She kept looking for him.

Saber: Meeeooow. Meeeeoooooow.

Me: I know, Saber. I know. I miss him, too.

Ox had agreed to pick Dagger up from the vet once he was off work. I didn’t want to go this morning. I wanted to call in and say I couldn’t be there. Dagger needed me. I wanted to call out last night. Since our clinic has such a bare-bones crew, though, I knew I couldn’t. I had to go to work. I had to be away from my little tiger. It sucked.

As my patients came in and asked me how my week had been I got to tell them about the good news regarding my cancer. I also got to tell them the craziness that was yesterday with Dagger eating one of my cross-stitching needles. When Ox finally called me to tell me he was off work I didn’t know what to feel.

I wanted to be the one picking him up. I wanted to be there when Dagger got home. I wanted to be there to say, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for leaving my project out. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for not giving you a choice with the surgery. I’m sorry you’re in pain. You’re my little tiger and you were so brave and I love you so much.”

I was grateful for Ox being there in my place. I was also grateful the day was smooth for the most part. I left the clinic by 4 pm. I was able to make it to the vet around 4:30 to pay half of the $600 bill I have with them. I plan to pay the rest on Tuesday on my way to school.

Ox stayed at the apartment with Dagger and Saber while I was at work. I hadn’t expected him to do that. I knew he was going to be there for a little bit, but he ended up sleeping here at the apartment with the kittens cuddled up against him.

Finding that out, that he didn’t leave Dagger alone, warmed a part of my heart. We hadn’t talked about it. I hadn’t asked. He hadn’t offered, and while I joke about the kittens being his fur babies, in my mind they aren’t his responsibility. I didn’t really give him a choice when I got the kittens. I just did it. He didn’t have to stay here to comfort them, to keep an eye on them.

He didn’t have to give up his whole afternoon, but he did and there aren’t words for what it means to me. It was an act of selflessness and I won’t forget it. It’s added to the ever-growing list of kindnesses he has done for me; to the times he’s been there for me even when I haven’t asked.

While I was at the vet they gave me the needle Dagger swallowed. It’s the most expensive needle I own. I’m seriously thinking about framing it or something. I know it’s stupid and no one would want to inherit it when I die, but it means something to me. One of those moments in life.

Anywho. The vet was extremely kind in letting me split the payment up. She understood this wasn’t an expected expense. I’m still waiting for a check from Ox to clear with my bank. That should happen Monday.

I ran by the gas station to pick up a Bang for Ox. Originally it was going to be a Reign but the gas station didn’t have those, so Bang it was.

When I got to the apartment I finally got to see Dagger. He’s doing well. Still sore, but he’s moving around and seems to be himself. Ox and I clipped the kittens’ claws while he was here. He left not long ago.

I don’t think I’m going to do much with the rest of my night. I’ve packed for work already. I’ve washed the dishes. I’ve eaten. I’ve written.

The only obligation left is to give Dagger his med in an hour. I’m thinking about coloring since I haven’t since Monday. I think that would be nice to do while listening to music. And then, eventually, going to sleep with both my kittens knowing that they’re both ok.

The Victorious Tiny Tiger