Sooo… I made a post… and… there was a word in it that I’m still coming to terms with…

Before delving into that all over again I feel like I need to continue with my recap of the past week of not writing because a lot of stuff still remains to write about aside from the new word.

I made it to Thursday in my last writing and that’s where I sort of ended, but so much more happened on Thursday than just that one event; the wife event.

My Thursday morning started with a text message from Sir saying I should call him when I woke up. I had tried calling him the evening before during my drive home. I had my plane tickets to Orlando. I had ironed out plans with my brother and dad, so now I could begin trying to arrange things with the other people I wanted to see on my trip.

Sir hadn’t answered, so I left a message with news about my trip and the offer for him to call me back whenever so we could try to set something up.

When I woke up I saw his message so I called. We chatted for a bit. He had to go for a little while since he was still working, but before he left I asked how it would work; seeing him. He still lives with Mother Earth and I wasn’t sure how she would feel about me being at the house. I didn’t know how to reach out to her or if it would even be ok to do so.

He said that he would bring up the topic; that I was going to be in Orlando and that I didn’t want to cross any lines. Would it be ok for me to reach out or not?

During the time Sir was away from the phone, my younger brother called. Nothing really special there. We talked about how nursing school is going for him and his roommates and his work. The wife thing hadn’t happened yet, so there wasn’t the stress of explaining that in my life yet.

I was able to talk to Sir again after talking to Jon. Sir said Mother Earth was ok with me visiting and that she would be reaching out to me.

Before I talked to Mother Earth I received a phone call I wasn’t expecting. Caller ID said it was a guy I used to scene with at a BDSM establishment in Orlando. I had visited him and his wife before moving to Nebraska to say goodbye. He had been on dialysis at the time. He wasn’t doing bad, but dialysis isn’t a good thing and so my heart ached for their situation. As a technician, I have a very solid understanding of what my patients have to go through, not only at the clinic but also at home. I knew he wasn’t going to be the most compliant of patients and so I knew time wasn’t in his favor.

We had sent and received text messages to each other a handful of times over this past year. Mostly they were him asking when I was coming back to visit, to which I never had a solid answer to. It usually resulted in something like “Soon-ish,” or, “I’m going to try for…”

I had bought my tickets for my trip in March. I had meant to reach out to let him know I would be in the area, and though he and his wife weren’t on the top of my list of people to see, I knew it would have meant a lot to him and so I was going to try to work something in. Maybe lunch or at least a cup of coffee on one of my many car trips between Orlando and Daytona.

And just for the record… I feel like I should mention that the relationship between Rounder, his wife, and myself is purely platonic now. I know with throwing the acronym of BDSM into something a lot of people automatically jump to the conclusion of, “crazy, fucked up sex stuff”.

Sorry to be the one to rain all over the depravity parade… My last visit with them consisted of watching a football game while having hotdogs and potato chips for dinner. Very non-sexy… unless you’re into football, which hey… I’m not here to pass judgment. Just sayin’… a bunch of big, buff, sweaty dudes running after each other isn’t really my thing.

Anywho…

I saw the name associated with the phone number and almost didn’t answer. I had just talked to Jon and Sir and I needed to talk to Mother Earth still and that was going to be a lot… I was pretty socialed out already and still had a ways to go. Did I really want to have this phone call now?

I answered it. For whatever reason, I knew that I needed to answer it. It wasn’t just a text message. He was calling. Chances were it was something more important than, “When are you going to come visit me?”

It wasn’t Rounder who replied to my hello. It was his wife. She went on to explain that Rounder had passed away Saturday; the Saturday before last at this point. She was doing “ok”. She was going through his phone to call the people she felt needed to or would want to know what had happened. We were on the phone for a while. He is being cremated, but the ashes won’t be spread until around the end of March she said.

I said I would never cease to wonder at how the Universe works. I said that I had bought tickets to come to Orlando and that I would be there from the 20th to the 23rd of March. The ash spreading will most likely be on the 23rd in the evening. I don’t know if I’ll be able to be there for it, but I would very much like to see Rounder’s wife. I would like to say goodbye one last time. I would like to be able to tell him that even if it hadn’t played out the way we both had thought it would, that we were able to see each other one last time; that I did, in fact, come back and I hadn’t moved away and forgotten about him.

So, honestly, my Thursday morning, my one-year anniversary of being in Nebraska and being with Ox, was more than a little bit of a rollercoaster.

After hanging up from the conversation about Rounder, I talked to Mother Earth for this first time in over a year.

And I’m going to have to stop writing here once again because there’s another conversation I need to have. This time with Sir. I promise I’ll get caught up on the story of my life eventually. >.<;