Prompt by The Learning Network to combat WordPress.

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Today’s Topic:
Do you believe things happen for a reason?

 

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Do I believe things happen for a reason?

Yes. I find it interesting that in the article most atheists answered this question similarly, which sort of negates the thought that this is a religious belief. I, myself, do not think the events in my life are laid out by a higher power. I’m not even sure if I really believe in “fate” in the sense that I do not have control over my actions because everything is already predetermined.

 

I think we choose our own path. We are given choices, branches, forks, and we ultimately decide which one we travel down. It is up to us to be open enough to learn from those experiences, to find meaning in them, whatever that may be.

 

The abusive relationships I have been in taught me to love myself, to value my own well-being. They taught me what I wanted, or didn’t want, in a partner. Moving away to go to college taught me how to live alone, to be responsible, and the value of a buck. The type of school I went to solidified the concept of “work first, play later”. It also ingrained the “work hard, play hard” mentality, but we’ll gloss over that… >.>;

 

We can look at events and people as negative, a waste, some sort of stain on the pages of our lives, or we can look for how those events built us up, and why it was important to experience them, even hardships.

 

I choose to look for what I gained rather than what I lost, which reminds me of a quote.

 

“Someone I loved once game me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”

~ Mary Oliver

 

What psychological purpose does this belief serve for humans?

I think it gives us a sense of security, comfort. It’s nice to think that there was a reason for the pain, heartache, and stress. It’s nice to think it had a purpose and it wasn’t just because the Universe is a kid with a magnifying glass and a sick sense of humor.

 

I would rather think that the trials and tribulations I went through helped to make me a more compassionate, empathetic person. It makes it easier to keep going that way. To keep pushing through the hard times, the dark times. Without a purpose, why keep going? Why struggle? Why strive? If it’s all meaningless then why do anything at all?

 

I would rather think that the situations in my life lead me ever closer to enlightenment and understanding. It gives me comfort and honesty, I really think that’s all beliefs are meant to do. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, I accept it as a truth in my world and it works for me. Everyone else can believe what they want because that’s what works for them.

 

Do I agree that there can be danger in believing everything happens for a reason?

Yes. I think some people can use that as an excuse to not better themselves or to leave things as they are rather than trying to change a situation. Just because something is happening doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do something about it, or blame others for it. It’s not ok to think, “well obviously they deserve that,” or, “they’re supposed to learn a lesson from this,” and to wash your hands of helping people when they legitimately need help. I don’t believe people deserve to be homeless, or hungry, or raped, or beaten.

 

I don’t think it’s ok to turn a blind eye to hate and suffering. Things do happen for a reason. Maybe that reason is for other people to step up and be a compassionate human. To care more for others and to show that kindness through action and effort.

 

Which sort of leads into this last question.

 

Do I agree that the events of human life unfold in a fair and just manner only when individuals and society work hard to make this happen rather than karma punishing and rewarding individuals?

I do believe in karma. I also believe that karma works through people. My random act of kindness may be karma rewarding the other person for something they themselves have done for someone else.

 

I do not take it upon myself to rain down judgment and punishment on people. When I am wronged I try my best to move on with my life. I try my best to be happy and to think of all of the others things I have going for me.

 

If a person has wronged me the only way they can continue to affect me is if I let them. I do not have control over their actions, but I have control over mine. I have control over my thoughts and emotions. I can distance myself from the situation or person. I can try to remove as much of the negatively from my life as possible.

 

I don’t feel like it is my place to use their actions as an excuse to be a raging bitch even though sometimes that would be really awesome. I try my best to let it go and let life figure itself out. I can either stop and stand there and fight a battle of wills which ultimately will make me feel worse even if I “win”, or I can let go and keep moving forward to the things I want, leaving the stress and whatnot behind me where it belongs.

 

Through all of the events I have experienced in my life so far, that is the path I choose to travel down more often than not now, and that’s one of the lessons I have learned. My peace of mind is more important that getting back at someone who was an ass-hat to me.