I feel a little out of sorts. Slow. Cluttered. Unorganized and not caring that mentally I’m sitting at a desk stacked with papers, each one a chore, an item I should add to my to-do list. One which I haven’t made.

 

I’m sure if I did I would feel more organized. I would have a battle plan. An idea of what ought to happen and when. I haven’t made a list since last Tuesday. Almost a full week.

 

I didn’t do a weekly saga last week. I doubt I’ll do one this week. Just not feeling like giving myself the extra hassle right now, especially since I still haven’t updated the file like I want to.

 

I haven’t updated Runkeeper for a while either. So I know I’m short at least 20 miles. Not including any of the running that I did.

 

I really don’t know what I want right now. I’m tired because the weekend was so social. I’m tired because it’s winter. I’m tired because I feel like I have a lot to do, and I don’t feel like adulting right now. I’m tired because I’m whining and that takes mental effort that I could be applying to something actually productive instead of writing run on sentences of doom that really don’t do much of anything to make me feel better, but are kind of fun once you get them going because you wonder how long you can make it go. Apparently that long, though I’m sure I could have made it longer if I had really tried.

 

I actually didn’t need to bike to school Friday. It was admin hours. So basically I hyped myself up, saying how if I was awesome and how if I biked to work for lab and biked all the way back home how I would take it easy over the weekend. No gym, no biking, no running. Just lots of rest.

 

So I biked to work like a badass, went to the lab room… and there’s already a class in it… Um… So I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to be here… let me look at the schedule….

 

Nope. I could have totally stayed home and not biked at all. FML XD

 

I felt a lot better after the ride though. It was a nice day outside and the ride helped warm me up.

 

Since I was at work I figured I would actually… I don’t know… do work or something lame like that… so I set up shop in the break room and updated Marcus’ commission like I wanted. I actually got that completely finished, sent it off to him and a few other people because I was feeling proud of myself, and got his approval. He loves it.

 

He actually was on campus so we chatted for a bit, then I went upstairs to print out the file before heading home. Of course there were a few changes I wanted to make… and just let me tweak that one thing real fast… and oh look… my computer’s battery just died and I didn’t save any of my work…

 

So… yeah… that happened. I restarted my computer to see how much work I had lost. All of the lettering, but since I knew how I wanted to do it re-creating it wasn’t going to take as long. It was just finding the motivation to redo work I had just done… which wasn’t going to happen that night.

 

I biked back home instead.

 

Zane and I have come to an agreement. We’re not allowed to fight about stuff in the past. We can use previous events to establish patterns for why a current action or situation bothers us. But if something isn’t brought up in a timely manner, then it’s not fair to bring it up during a fight weeks later. We’re both guilty of that. So it’s a good rule for both of us.

 

Things have been going better for the past three-ish days.

 

Saturday I had lunch with Luis. Then Hannah came over for movie night. We ended up watching the Dark Crystal and then the new Muppets show. It’s cute. Not amazing. But cute.

 

I worked on stitching Marcus’ commission during the whole evening. I am so happy to be working on it for real. I guess it’s worth mentioning that I redid all of the work I had lost.

 

Oh. Saturday I also went to the storage unit to drop some stuff off and to go through all of the frames I have. Since I was part of the art show last year I have a bunch of frames that I got from Ika. I though that I had one that would fit Marcus’ cross stitch, so he wouldn’t have to worry about finding one, and I did. Huzzah.

 

I also went to Michael’s for some thread that I needed. I got a larger cross stitch frame while I was there. It’s not a frame like one you hang on the wall. I’m actually not sure if it’s really called a frame, but it’s what I use to keep the fabric taut while I’m working with it. I have a small frame which has been fine for the little projects I’ve been doing. The one for Marcus is almost two feet long though, so I wanted something that would give me more area to work with, rather than having to reposition my working area constantly.

 

Since I was right next to an Office Max I also got ink for the printer and new pens for Zane since his other ones went through the wash and didn’t survive.

 

So that was nice.

 

Zane and I had some pretty deep conversation after Hannah left. I asked what made our relationship special. Like, things that only “we” did. It was a pretty sad list to be honest.

 

We fight. And jokingly insult each other with things like, “Your face.” Yep. Totally a warm and fuzzy relationship.

 

I’m supposed to remember the good times we’ve had, and think about why they were good. What I liked about them. Things that we used to do that we don’t do anymore. We’re supposed to talk about that in a few days to see how we can get back to our “good days”.

 

We’re actively working on us and that makes me feel good.

 

Sunday was another busy day. Zane and I went to Moe’s for lunch. Their grill was broken so I had to have chicken on my nachos instead of steak. It wasn’t awful, but it was different. I’m not sure I’ll willingly get chicken again.

 

We went to Target next. Zane got boxers and socks. I got new panties, finally. They actually had packs of normal, black, microfiber panties. And there is a part of me who is mildly ashamed for equating that to the Holy Grail inside of my head, but there you go. I’m insanely easy to please when it comes to somethings. Just make it ridiculously hard to find what I want and I’ll be eternally grateful. XD

 

I hadn’t realized how much weight I had lost until I put the new ones on. I hadn’t realized how loose my old ones were, and how nice it is to have ones that fit well. Warm fuzzy feels.

 

We looked at free weights while at Target. I might get a set of 10 pounds to have at home. We also found a stone cutting board that Zane really liked. I might get that for him later.

 

I have two boxes I need to pick up from the office. I know at least one is from my mom. The other one might be the box from Verizon to trade in my phone. The new tags for my car came in so I need to put that sticker on my car tonight. I need to make Clavan’s frame.

 

There’s a bunch of stuff that I “need” to do, and right now a nap sounds amazing. Blah. It’s another cold, cloudy day, where I want to crawl back into bed because at least there it’s warm.

 

My friend messaged me about how she may become a surrogate mother. That lead to a long email about my opinion of the situation and how I would support her which ever decision she goes with.

 

I think my brother is going through some stuff. I talked to my mom Friday and she said that because he’s failed his PT test so much that the Army is getting ready to process him out. I’m not sure if it’s for real or just a scare tacit, but I’m going to reach out to him shortly and see how he’s doing.

 

I ought to cook lunch, or breakfast really since I haven’t had that yet. I did have coffee… and might go for another cup since I have no motivation to leave the computer.

 

I did run the dishwasher earlier, so I could put the dishes away if I were feeling frisky. The laundry is still sitting in the laundry basket, so I should do something about that, too…. Lame…

 

Though that does remind me about something super cute that made me smile like a school girl.

 

When Zane and I got back home from the errands yesterday it was raining, so we left the laundry in the car for a bit. Later that night we were talking about the chores that needed to happen before the game started, and getting the laundry was mentioned.

 

Me: Go out with me. (clearly referring to the laundry in the context of the conversation)

Zane: We’re already going out.

 

Gah. There are some times where he can be amazingly romantic and make me melt. That was one of those times.

 

One project I have mostly finished is the character sheet for Uke’s game. I turned the pdf into a form with Adobe Acrobat Pro. It was way easier than I thought it would be, and there are very minor changes that I want to make. Mostly in regards to the font size, though I am also going to change the check boxes from using check to being filled in squares. I think that will look nicer and clearer due to the size on the form. The tiny checks are hard to see. I’m super pleased with the way it has turned out though.

 

Something is up with Scarlet’s eye, so making a vet appointment for tomorrow is also on the list of things to do. I’ve already mentioned to Zane that I may be taking him to work. I may have to miss the lab with Frank depending on what times they have.

 

She’s not opening her left eye all the way and it’s sort of weepy. It’s not like the infection she had about four years ago where it was swollen and red and clearly something was wrong. But I don’t like it and I want her to get looked at.

 

I’m sure there are other things…

 

Alright… I’m going. I’m going… To the kitchen for more coffee.