“As kids, we’re told, time and again, that lying is wrong. Do you believe that’s always true? In your book, are there any exceptions?”

It took me a while to think on this one.

In my head, lying is wrong. End of story.

So if that’s how I truly feel, then why do I still do it?

I don’t flat out lie. I like to think for the most part I am an extremely honest person.

However, when someone asks me, “How are you?” Why do I answer with, “Fine,” or, “I’m great.” When sometimes I’m not.

How can I stand in front of someone I care about, or a stranger I don’t even know, and disrespect them by lying when the honest answer is sometimes it feels like I’m dying on the inside and I have no idea how I am holding myself together. Sometimes I don’t know how I am keeping myself from breaking into millions of pieces.

How is it ok to lie then, about my feelings, but it’s not ok to lie about something else, like why I was late for work.

I don’t have to give anyone a blow by blow account of why I feel overwhelmed, or what is bothering me. But I should respect them enough to say, “Today is sort of rough.”

See? There.

I just did it in a make believe conversation. I didn’t gab details, but I clearly stated that things aren’t as awesome as they could be. So why haven’t I been doing that my whole life?

A lie is a lie. No one can make good, informed decisions if they have miss information.

“Does this outfit look good?”

If you say yes, when in truth, it doesn’t, then you are doing a disservice to your friend. Disrespecting them by thinking they will be unable to handle the emotional ramifications of an honest answer.

You are leading them to believe something is ok, when really it’s not, so if they go forward and then get a truthful answer from someone else, they will feel betrayed by you, which could undermine their opinion of you, and even damage the relationship.

If you do not have trust, you have no foundation for interaction. Everything is built on trust. So if they really matter to you then you should be honest with them.

It is a different matter entirely if they are not looking for a truthful answer. If they are merely looking for lip service. I feel that in itself is wrong, because it is devaluing your true opinion. They are not asking for what you really think, which in my mind is rude.

Truth is truth. It is unbiased, and knows no emotion.

It simply is. It exists.

It is up to each of us to either except it or not. Either way, the truth will not change, or care about how we feel. It will continue going on, being true.

Lying about something is just putting a mask or band aid over a situation. Eventually it will come off, and the longer it is left on, the more infection can be allowed to sit and fester.

Sometimes to the point where the damage is too great, too vast. There is no salvaging what is underneath the lie anymore.

So, after much thought and inner searching, no. I do not think white lies are ok.

I believe it is a Russian proverb which states, “I would rather be slapped with the truth, than kissed with a lie.”

I would like to have the respect be told the truth, no matter what it is. And I will work harder on my part to respect the people around me by also giving them the truth.

No more white lies.