“Tell us about your first day at something — your first day of school, first day of work, first day living on your own, first day blogging, first day as a parent, whatever.“

I’m not sure if I like this prompt. 

There have been so many firsts in my life. How can I be expected to pick only one to write about, saying that out of all of my fists this one is the most important?

What about the things that I have only ever experienced once? Do they count as a ‘first’ even though there wasn’t a second or third? Are they excluded or included?

Does it have to be a warm fuzzy first? Or could it be the first nightmare I had? The first scrapped knee? The first time I saw my mom cry? My first failing grade?

Those are still firsts, and they still affected me deeply, maybe in some ways more so then the positive firsts.

There’s so many things, events, choices, emotions. All of them cording together to weave the tapestry that is my life. How can one thread be more important than the whole?

I have read a few other prompt posts, enough to realize that this prompt is not the first of its kind.

But for me it is a first. Should I write about that? How most of the prompts are still new and shinny for me, and that I feel bad for not sharing in the discontent of the community? How in some ways I feel like a traitor?

I feel like I have been told to go into the depths of my nebulous mind but with no real direction as to what I’m supposed to retrieve.

I have 26 years of firsts behind me, and who knows how many years of firsts ahead of me. I can only imagine how hard it must be for others who have more experience than myself.

What about ‘lasts’? Why is it only the ‘first’ time that is magical and worth writing about? What about the last time I have done something?

The last marching band performance I participated in? The last day of high school? The last day of college? My last day at home?

Aren’t those just as important as the firsts?

The last day I said goodbye to my grandmother? The last day I saw my grandfather? The last day my parents were married? The last days of my relationships?

Again, all defining moments.

In a way this posts grates on my nerves, much like the Winning Streak post did from last year.

How is it fair to say, “Out of everything I experienced, this was the one worth mentioning.”

I feel like that is a gross misrepresentation of who I am as a person.

So I suppose, if I have to write about a ‘first’, it’s that this is my first post in the new year where I feel discontent. Where I again feel distain for societies closed minded concepts, and how I wish for the world to be more open and accepting.